Legal Muse

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Posts Tagged ‘High School


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Talk about a blast from the past. It’s a small, small world.


After a long night on mid-shift at the Pentagon, I’m coming home and entering through the front lobby of my apartment complex. As I’m walking in, I notice a person on crutches hobbling towards me. Being a well-bred Northerner, I decide to wait and hold the door open for him, then proceed to open the second set for of doors for him. This is all a reflection upon how awesome I actually am. Meanwhile, I notice that he’s wearing a Red Sox hat. Not being able to help myself, I declare:

Me: “So you’re a Red Sox fan eh?”
Him: “Yup, I’m from the area as well.”
Me: “Oh really? I’m from MA too!”
Him: “Cool, where are you from?”
Me: “Shrewsbury, you?”
Him: “North Brookfield.”

I pause as I remember someone I knew in North Brookfield…

Me: “Hey you would happen to know Jane Doe, would you?” (Jane Doe is a girl I knew in high school. Real name undisclosed for privacy).

He pauses and stares at me…. then begins to glare at me, like he’s seeing me in a new light…

Him: “Yeah, I do. Actually, I used to date her in high school.”

At this point I realize that this is the same guy who sent me threatening emails when I was a freshman in high school declaring that he was going to track me down and kill me because he thought his girlfriend (Jane Doe) was cheating on him with me. For the record, that presumption was extremely untrue. I think he knew it was me because I said I lived in Shrewsbury. At this point, I have the following options:

a. Panic/Run Away
b. Say “Yeah, I f***ed her, you were right”, then casually walk away like a bad ass. Over my shoulder I smugly add, “Twice.”
c. Stutter, then awkwardly attempt to end the conversation
d. Feign a sudden loss of hearing, or pretend that you don’t actually know the same people, and that you didn’t really mean THAT Jane Doe.
e. Steal his crutch and begin beating him – either because it’s just fun to beat up crippled people, or because deep down I still don’t appreciate being threatened back in high school.

Remember, this guy actually lives in my apartment complex now.



Written by DMN

July 29, 2008 at 7:09 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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