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Well Mannered Frivolity

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From my casebook, describing a plaintiff who brought a really complicated, international suit in a rural Texas court in an attempt to pull one over on the defendants.  My favorite part is the end, where the judge describes his reading skills :

In the second case, Republic of Bolivia v. Phillip Morris Co (1999), Bolivia had filed suit in Brazoria Country, Texas (a county with a reputaion  as being pro-plaintiff) against a group of US tobacco companies.  The case was removed to federal court and the court granted the defendants’ motion for 1404(a) transfer to the District of Columbia.

The Court can hardly imagine why the Republic of Bolivia elected to file suit in the veritable hinterlnds of Brazoria County, Texas.  The Court seriously doubts whether Brazoria County has ever seen a live Bolivian even on the Discovery Channel.  Though only here by removal, this humble Court by the sea is certainly flattered by what must be the worldwide renown of rural Texas courts for dispensing justice with unparralleled fairness and alacrity, apparently in common discussion even on the mountain peaks of Bolivia!  Still, the Court would be remiss in accepting an obligation for which it truly does not have the necessary resources.  And, while Galveston is indeed and international seaport, the capacity of this Court to address the complex and sophisticated issues of internation and foreign relations presented by this case is dwarfed by that of its esteemed colleages in the District of Columbia who deftly address such awesome tasks as a matter of course.  Such a Bench, well-populated with genuinely renowned intellects, can certainly better bear and share the burden of multi-district litigation than this single judge division, where the judge moves his lips when he reads.


Written by DMN

October 19, 2008 at 1:52 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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  1. His reading AND writing skills… “were the judge moves his lips when he reads.” Isn’t it supposed to be where? Or have I lost my Mad Grammar Skillz?

    – T. Ohhe

    T. Ohhe

    October 19, 2008 at 11:05 am

  2. That was my typo. I copied it from my book at 2AM last night after all…

    You have to admit though, that was pretty freaking funny.


    October 19, 2008 at 11:12 am

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