Legal Muse

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My Review of the Axe Shower Tool (AST)

with 19 comments

Marketing – 10/10 – girls in Bikinis appear in my shower and use the AST to get me clean and fresh smelling.  I’m sold.

Reality – 0/10 – no girls in Bikinis in my shower utilizing the AST to get me clean and fresh smelling.  I’m downtrodden.

Luffa Side – 10/10 – not as soft as most luffas, which makes it almost painful to use.  I interpret this as an expression of my masculinity, and love it.

Scub Side – 0/10 – I haven’t really found a use for it, though according to the above mentioned commercial, Bikini clad women should be scrubbing the soles of my feet.

Usability – 10/10 – it has a cool rubber grip.  I dig things with cool rubber grips.

Soap Retaining Ability – 0/10 – I might be retarded, but it seems to lose the soap as soon as I start to use it.  This is frustrating, and makes me buy lots of Axe shower soap.  I smell a conspiracy.

I guess that’s all I have to say about that.

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Written by DMN

September 28, 2008 at 11:29 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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19 Responses

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  1. i’m sorry, but screw masculinity. women’s personal hygiene products just work better. olay body wash for the win.

    Dave

    September 29, 2008 at 1:07 am

  2. Wanna know how I know you’re gay?

    openfire06

    September 29, 2008 at 1:09 am

  3. because you’re rubbing off on me?

    Dave

    September 29, 2008 at 9:15 am

  4. (that’s what she said)

    Dave

    September 29, 2008 at 9:15 am

  5. It looks like a tire. And you’re supposed to use it like a loofah?

    Melissa

    September 29, 2008 at 11:19 am

  6. The tire is the cool rubber grip. The red part it the “Scrub Side”. The Luffa side is the other side.

    openfire06

    September 29, 2008 at 6:39 pm

  7. Is this your secret way of asking for me to help you out and buy you some decent products?

    In his defense, he hasn’t smelled too bad after using the stuff, just really strongly. It’s better than the alternative of not showering.

    Samantha

    September 29, 2008 at 7:43 pm

  8. No, I think it’s my secret way of telling you that you should be in a bikini scrubbing my feet, like in the commercial.

    😛

    I’m going to hear about this…

    openfire06

    September 29, 2008 at 9:59 pm

  9. I cook you dinner. Isn’t that enough?

    Besides, someone always locks the door when he showers.

    Samantha

    September 30, 2008 at 12:37 am

  10. ouch.

    Melissa

    September 30, 2008 at 11:11 am

  11. yeah, but if i didn’t lock the door, then you’d wash my feet, and bill would get jealous, and then we’d have this… thing… between us.

    Dave

    September 30, 2008 at 6:28 pm

  12. Dave – while I know that conversations longer than 3 lines gets complicated for you, it’s clear that she was referring to Melissa.

    openfire06

    September 30, 2008 at 6:30 pm

  13. she totally said “he”. is there something about melissa that i’m not aware of?

    Dave

    September 30, 2008 at 6:32 pm

  14. i think it says something about your readership, now that i think about it, that your most commented journal is about you showering.

    Dave

    September 30, 2008 at 10:56 pm

  15. “she totally said “he”. is there something about melissa that i’m not aware of?”

    Considering that you ignored the previous posts in your post accusing my girlfriends infidelity, I thought that would be overlooked.

    lrn2asldkjasdlkjasndfsfghgfasfasfsdf … asjddhaskjdhasjkdk

    openfire06

    October 1, 2008 at 12:36 am

  16. infidelity? i was talking about feet washing. jesus did that, you know? that’s an awfully large jump to infidelity. and, of course, i would never come close to dream of suggesting anything resembling something even akin to the same neighborhood as cheating. she seemed like a classy girl.

    besides, you called me gay. you totally deserved it.

    Dave

    October 1, 2008 at 8:17 am

  17. dreaming? note to self: lrn2grammar

    Dave

    October 1, 2008 at 8:18 am

  18. and, of course, i would never come close to dream of suggesting anything resembling something even akin to the same neighborhood as cheating.

    This is by far the defining sentence of the debate. Because of its pure awesomeness, you win.

    openfire06

    October 1, 2008 at 7:02 pm

  19. Crimminy Christmas…..

    I personally believe that steel wool and raw lye are the only truly masculine bathing accessories. Anything else is for women. Given that the major reason that I bathe is to smell good for women, I don’t personally use steel wool and lye. Of course, the bathroom I used over vacation had a holster next to the toilet and a large knife in the soap tray – just to ensure positive masculinity at all times.

    T. Ohhe

    T. Ohhe

    October 2, 2008 at 9:10 pm


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