Legal Muse

Insert witty tagline here…


with 2 comments

I usually try not to double post in an evening, and try to space out my blogging ideas, but I’m afraid that this might be deleted from Craigslist by the time tomorrow night rolls around.

this is the text from the add, in case it gets deleted:

HENCHMEN NEEDED (London, but planned worldwide expansion)
Reply to:
Date: 2008-08-05, 2:34PM BST

20-30 henchmen needed for moderately-sized supervillain organisation with large expansion potential (fortresses built into geological structures, corruption of government officials, possible genesis of ‘nemesis’ vigilante). Electrical theme.

Applicants must be willing to learn new skills, including but not limited to operation of specialised ‘lightning guns’. Applicants will also be required to wear specialised uniform when at work (functional rubber suits with my logo on front), except in cases where deception is required (posing as hostages in order to ambush vigilantes, etc).

Desired (but not necessarily required) in applicants:

-interesting deformations/obsessions/powers(?) giving rise to interesting nicknames (e.g. Claws, Pyro, Buzzsaw, and similar)
-unwavering loyalty
-being a corruptible government official
-ability to work as part of a close-knit team (unless interesting obsession is of the ‘lone wolf’ variety)
-grudge against any well-known vigilante
-flexible moral code

Equal opportunies employer. Both henchmen and femmes fatales absolutely welcome.

Great promotion opportunities – right-hand-man position constantly being unexpectedly opened. Would look good on any future supervillain resume/CV.

Send an email with details of any prior henchman work, or details of what is driving you to join the ranks of a supervillain organisation. Will reply to all serious applicants. Hope to hear from you, and with luck, welcome you into a rewarding and promising career!

– Jacque (The Zapper) Zerapi

* Location: London, but planned worldwide expansion
* Compensation: £20,000pa starting salary, with added commissions based around success of supervillain operations. Contracts negotiable depending on applicant’s personal skills/powers.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.


Written by DMN

August 7, 2008 at 1:55 am

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with ,

2 Responses

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  1. functional rubber suits… interesting.


    August 7, 2008 at 2:07 am

  2. Haven’t people learned not to tie their villany to just one theme? I thought this was covered in the Evil Overlord’s Guide to World Domination. And advertising for henche’s? Completely unsatisfactory. I hope a senior Evil Overlord straightens this young man out before he makes a bad name for all of us.

    T. Ohhe


    August 7, 2008 at 2:55 pm

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