Meet Draco
Isn't he gorgeous?
Draco is the latin word for Dragon, and boy does this kitty live up to his billing. After bringing him home, he proceeded to eviscerate both Guinness and (more surprisingly) Little. I’ve never seen a fiercer cat. He’s very powerful as well, generally overwhelming Guinness with his aggression.
He also only seems to have deep seeded hatred only for dogs, as he can go straight from slashing up Little to affectionately rubbing his head against me.
Also, I’m having problems with the food arrangement between my various pets. Guinness and Little insist on eating the cat’s food, and Draco seems to insist on eating the dog’s food. I just don’t get it. Anyone have any ideas?
As you can see, there’s a dog carrier behind the chair there. That’s where Little hides most of the day. Notice the swishing tail of the beautiful orange tabby cat that’s patiently waiting for my poor Yorkie to show his delectable purebred face. It’s Draco’s favorite place to stalk Little.
Personally, I think he equates it to shooting fish in a barrel.
Legal Muse 
Gdub would suggest that you hire one of the Blackwater security consultants to protect your precious Yorkie from the vicious gato.
The inner former ensign would tell you to leave one of your pets in the hallway like you did with the iguana at the academy.
Your woman would tell you to buy a babyblue parakeet to create a diversion for Little. Plus, she feels that birds are pretty and it would continue to diminish your manliness.
Macgyver would tell you to fabricate some sort of a weapon using a household device that you only find in less than a second. Then attach it to your yorkie, so it can defend itself against Draco.
I would suggest that you adopt a former cage fighting pitbull or go look for your bitter abandoned iguana. Either one of these animals would take care of your animal house dilemma with a single bite.
Ianthekorean
July 16, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Cool- where’d you get the cat from? I suggest getting a reptile of some sort to mediate.
Melissa
July 16, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Melissa – I got him from PetSmart. Before that he was at a high kill shelter. I don’t know what PetSmart would have done with him if he hadn’t sold, but I feel somewhat good for buying him. When you say a reptile, are you referring to something like a Kimono Dragon, or like a Geico Gecko? I imagine there’s a big difference there.
ITK – Go to hell. Draco does not diminish my manliness in any way. In fact, his aggression mirrors his master’s when he’s confronted with people he doesn’t like – namely Korean PMT analysts. Though you have no stalkable traits (such as being a rock star like I am), I’m an accomplished stalker. Stand by.
Furthermore, the cat is already escaping into the hallway and running down the length of the apartment complex. One these days the elevator door is going to be open and he’s going to be gone for good. I’m still pondering my emotions regarding that.
I was thinking about equiping Little with some sort of electrical zapper that would zap Kitty every time he swatted him, but I’m having problems with the implementation. Good thing I have an engineer for a girlfriend!
I also have no doubt that Iggy the Iguana is still alive. After seeing what he did to my finger, I have no doubt he can survive on his own, and I think he could probably make it through the winters around here with only his burning hate for me keeping him warm.
openfire06
July 17, 2008 at 12:12 am
Now, a real man has one solution. The cat, goes. Open the door, call the elevator, and call it good. Call it better if the elevator doors open and the elevator isn’t there. Guinness, needs man lessons. Little, needs to be given to someone else, probably as a present. You need to import a proper, full sized dog to mentor Guinness and add some testosterone to the apartment.
I might be willing to add Little to my household in the interest of balance. Frankly, I have so much masculinity I think it scares the women off. A feminine touch like Little might be just the trick. Or maybe I’ll use him to troll for gators.
– T. Ohhe
T. Ohhe
July 17, 2008 at 7:41 am
The issue really isn’t Guinness’ testosterone. He’s perfectly willing to attack the cat. The problem lies in the fact that Draco is superior to Guinness in the martial arts in every conceivable way – stealth, check, claws, check, agility, check, speed, check, intensity, check. This cat is just a bad ass.
As for the overall “masculinity” of my pad, I’d say that it’s less than yours only due to the fact that I more frequently have a girl present in said apartment.
I’m fairly certain that if you tried it, you’d be willing to let the overall dour masculinity of your apartment slip a little.
openfire06
July 17, 2008 at 8:10 am
definitely a Komodo dragon.
Melissa
July 17, 2008 at 1:52 pm
If you are truly the god of your animal kingdom, you would bestow some assistance to the yorkie. How about making the fight even by shaving one side of the whiskers (gato)? One who has experience with gatos like myself knows that an act like this will weaken a cat’s ability to function. My ninja master in California once told me, before I sliced his throat, that if I take away an old man’s cane, he cannot beat me with it nor can he chase me down. Do not take this story lightly. Those innocent looking seniors are preparing to take down girlyman like yourself (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121582129325447667.html), so one day they would be ready to challenge the most superior and fierce PMT analyst – Me.
Ianthekorean
July 18, 2008 at 12:08 am
ITK –
Wow. Just wow.
openfire06
July 18, 2008 at 8:22 am